Friday 7 July 2023

[07072023] The Path of Authentic Growth: Seeking Honest Feedback vs. Seeking Approval

In our journey through life, we often encounter situations where we seek validation, acceptance, and approval from others. However, as philosophers have long pondered, is this constant pursuit of external validation truly beneficial for our personal growth and development? In this blog post, we will explore the dichotomy between seeking honest feedback and seeking approval, and delve into the profound implications each choice holds for our lives.

Seeking Approval: The Allure of External Validation

From an early age, we are conditioned to seek approval from our parents, teachers, and peers. The desire for acceptance and affirmation becomes deeply ingrained within us, shaping our behaviors and decisions. Seeking approval can provide temporary feelings of satisfaction and belonging, as we strive to meet societal expectations and gain the admiration of others. However, the pursuit of external validation comes at a cost.

The Perils of Seeking Approval

1. Loss of Authenticity: When our primary concern is pleasing others, we may compromise our true selves. We may find ourselves conforming to societal norms, suppressing our individuality, and adopting a persona that aligns with the expectations of those around us. This not only hampers our personal growth but also prevents us from experiencing the joy of embracing our unique qualities.

2. Shallow Fulfillment: Approval-seeking often leads to shallow gratification. The accolades and praises we receive may provide temporary happiness, but they are fleeting and fail to address our deeper needs for self-acceptance and self-worth. Relying solely on external validation leaves us vulnerable to the whims of others' opinions, leaving us in a constant state of seeking validation.

3. Missed Growth Opportunities: Seeking approval can hinder our personal and intellectual growth. When we surround ourselves with individuals who only offer praise and never provide constructive criticism, we miss out on valuable opportunities for improvement and self-reflection. We become stagnant in our development, shielded from the challenges and discomfort necessary for genuine progress.

The Power of Honest Feedback

In contrast to seeking approval, actively seeking honest feedback can be a catalyst for personal growth and transformation. Here are a few reasons why:

1. Self-Awareness: Honest feedback, even if critical, can provide us with valuable insights into our strengths and weaknesses. It allows us to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and promotes self-awareness. Through feedback, we can identify areas for improvement, develop a more accurate self-perception, and make better-informed decisions.

2. Emotional Resilience: When we open ourselves up to honest feedback, we build emotional resilience. Constructive criticism helps us develop the capacity to accept and process feedback without becoming defensive. By embracing feedback with an open mind, we can learn from it and use it to refine our actions and beliefs.

3. Genuine Connections: Seeking honest feedback fosters deeper connections with others. When we approach relationships with an openness to receiving constructive criticism, we signal our willingness to grow and improve. Honest feedback becomes a means of building trust and establishing authentic connections based on mutual growth and support.

Striking a Balance

While seeking honest feedback is crucial for personal growth, it is important to strike a balance and avoid becoming solely reliant on external perspectives. Ultimately, we must develop our own internal compass, a set of guiding principles and values that inform our choices. By integrating external feedback with our own self-reflection, we can navigate the path of personal growth with authenticity and integrity.


In the pursuit of personal growth, seeking honest feedback proves to be far more valuable than seeking approval. By relinquishing the need for constant validation and embracing the discomfort of self-improvement, we embark on a journey towards self-discovery, resilience, and authentic connections. Let us be courageous in seeking honest feedback, for it is in this vulnerability that we find the true essence of growth and fulfillment.

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